Vern's boss complains he lacks the requisite wood-laquering motivation: "That shambling ol' galoot's more fixated on collecting oddly shaped wood chips than on his daily varnishing quota!" Truth is, Vern's "eccentric wood chip" collection is world-renown, with a shattered teak shim you'd swear is the Hanging Gardens of Babylon in miniature -- and a Bubinga burl that's the spitting image of Margaret Thatcher (if perhaps slightly too winsome).